"Geli! Geli!"
Someone from downstairs was shouting my name as if there was a fire emergency.
As soon as I opened my door (slightly panicked), my cousin J ran into my arms crying.
This was the night (two weeks ago) when we received the news that our paternal grandfather, Lolo P, passed away.
How fast was the transition from the happy dinner we had ten minutes before... became a crying session in the bedroom.
After a bit of the shock wore off, my first thought was Papito.
Just a few months ago, Papito's eldest brother passed away too.
Imagine breaking off two pieces of a heart in less than a year.
I always thought you couldn't suffer two losses in a year but how wrong I am...
My parents were in Manila when we received the news in Baguio. After being told of what happened, they immediately traveled to Kalinga.
If I was worried about Papito, I was more worried of Lola B, my paternal grandmother. I've always known Lola B as an emotional person. She feels everything to a deep level and expresses it openly.
The weekend of that week, my siblings, cousins and I traveled to Kalinga as well.
We arrived there around six in the morning...
"Geli, catch me if I pass out," my cousin V whispered to me as we entered through the main door. I squeezed her hand tight and she started crying as soon as she caught a glimpse of Lolo P's coffin. I cried silently beside her as she cried hard, almost throwing herself over the coffin. I grabbed her hand and hugged her from behind to stop her from doing so.
I was not as close with Lolo as cousins J and V were with him. They grew up in Kalinga with their family and our grandparents while my siblings and I only get to see them during the long holidays. Even so, my throat stayed constricted as I fought tears that my heart wanted to shed.
Days later, after the burial, the little kids started crying as soon as we were pushed into the house (because we weren't supposed to watch them put the coffin in -- there were many beliefs so we just had to follow them). Two of the kids ran to me and I hugged them tight as the little on cried on my stomach while the other on my shoulder. Cousin V was also hugging another group of kids a few feet from me so I ushered those who were with me so we could be just one group in one corner.
Some adults walked by and only said half-heartedly "Stop crying now..." while cousin V scolded (not really) the kids for not crying it all out earlier.
I tried to stop them saying: "Stop crying. Lola B's in the room nearby."
Instead of making the crying cease,. they ran to the second floor to hide their tears from our already stoic-looking grandmother.
A few moments later, we started getting ready for the lunch. I found Second, my brother, beside Lola B talking about trivial stuff. When Lola B was smiling, we asked if she was hungry and she nodded her head eagerly. She gave off an expression as if she has been waiting for those words.
Papito walked by and probably saw that I was red-eyed which prompted him to pull me close into a tight hug -- which made me want to cry even more so I asked to be released so that I could attend to the living: the people who knew Lolo P -- as a father, grandfather, uncle, brother, colleague, friend...
We can never measure a man
by how many properties he owned,
by how much money he earned
or by how long he has lived...
you can see a man's worth
by how many lives he has touched.
